Monday, August 30, 2010

Have You Ever

UPDATE 9/7/2010
Love seems to have prevailed and conquered this situation.

Have you ever been in a strange predicament? Surrounded by circumstances beyond your control. That it seems to someone else the way things played out... you are the only logical one to them to blame. That you betrayed them. And at this point there is nothing you can do. How you wish you could  turn back the hands of time. As if by doing so you could actually change the outcome. But that can not be. Now it seems you are left holding a bag of mistrust and hurt that really should not be yours to hold. It was the farthest thing from the real truth. Oh if they could only know the real truth.
And yet it doesn't stop there...the ripple effect of someone else's actions, someone else's decision (the 3rd party who's actions I did not have control over)....just keeps going. You know in the future as in the past you'll will be asked., "So how is So-n-So doing?" You'll have to give some kind of a reply. Inside you will be re-injured every time that happens. Yet you will not allow yourself so speak ill of anyone connected to this particular situation. That is just the way you are.  You know that if you would do anything different from that ...that it would be damaging to them. Both to the person who's action was a mistake (the 3rd party) and to the receipiant of the mistake.
I would rather take it all on myself instead. After all if I had not tried to be helpful none of it would have taken place.That is my part and I own it. How much I would rather be able to make things right.
But as of  this day I have not been allowed to. I still hold out a bit of optimism.
1 Corinthians 13:7-8  Love,. . .endures all things. Love never fails.
For now feel I have been written off. I'm like a piece of garbage that has been thrown in the trash. Once a professed loved and cherished item. Now seen as worthless and so easily disposed of. When you care so much as I do it can tear you up inside emotionally.
I'm grateful for the compassionate friends I have who truly understand the height and breadth of this situation. I'm grateful to my dear friends who want to lend a listing ear. Even though they may not get the full impact it has had on me and I chose not to share the details of this particular trial. Just knowing you are there for me is enough.

Monday, August 2, 2010

M.A.M.A. ATC's

Some lovely ATC's I received from the 
Marie Antoinette Mail Art Group
Tristan, Laura, Dawn,
 Terri Gorgon, Wendy, 
Click on the photo for larger view of the scan
Thank You  All!